Monday, November 28, 2011


This last weekend I went up to a place called Island Park and went snowmobiling, or snow machining as the locals call it. Basically it was an adventure.

We got up to the hills where we were going to and unloaded the machines just fine. The guy I went with assured me that he and I would be driving the good machine and the other couple would have the less-than-good machine. I didn't really concern myself with which we would have too much.

Anyway, we got about 200 yards out of the parking lot and the 'good' machine started struggling so we pulled over. It was broken. Haha. How funny is that!? I laughed out loud a few times at the situation. Luckily my friend didn't get angry about things not working out like most guys would. I hate being around guys that are angry/frustrated. Especially when I just want to be happy.

When we got the machines back to the truck he took me to see some waterfalls on the working machine and that was fun. Hopefully we'll go again and they'll both work. I just love that my first experience with snowmobiling was so entertaining and memorable. 

Monday, November 21, 2011

Lovely, simply lovely

I woke up this morning in such a horrible mood. Not even sure why and that annoyed me more. Then it started snowing and I wasn't wearing enough layers. Then I had to walk home. It was just not a good morning.

Today was payday though, so I got my check and I went and did something wholly for myself. Something that made me feel so much better about myself. There is something about going to the salon and getting your hair done that just puts you in a good mood. Doing that small thing was just what I needed today. I came home in such an amazing mood.

To top of my wonderful evening, I went to my ward FHE/service project and helped tie quilts for children in need. I love the people in my ward, everyone is so much fun to be with and talk to. Even if some of the guys tease me to no end, I love them for it.

As a cherry on top, I was asked to Thanksgiving dinner by a local boy tonight as well so I won't be completely alone on Thanksgiving. That'll be nice. I'm actually looking forward to Thursday now.

For the rest of this lovely evening I'm going to organize and clean and finish homework. What a wonderful mood I'm in!!

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Just a Thought

I've decided that there are a couple of things about myself that I'm not going to tell people anymore. After much reflection, I feel like these two pieces of information are not helping me in any way.

1. My age. As soon as people learn that I'm still really young they immediately pass judgement on me. I'm immature. Naive. Silly. Uneducated. Sheltered. There are guys here that won't even take a second look at me after they learn my age just because they assume I'm like every other recent high school graduate girl. It's annoying and wholly unfair. So I've decided that they don't need to know how old I am anymore. They can get to know me and understand my motivations and intellect and then figure out the rest later. Age is only a number anyway; it does not define me.

2. Where I work. I'm tired of people coming to me with the intention of using my awesome discount at my work. I don't mind taking people to movies because I really enjoy them but when guys come to me and say, "Hey, Bri, I really want to see ______," it's almost like they're saying, "Hey, Bri, I don't really care about going out with you, but I want to see this movie for really cheap so I thought I'd ask you to go with me." I'm tired of feeling used for my discount. It's been a really long time since I've gone somewhere else for a date.

So this is it. I'm going to start letting people get to know me, let them form an opinion on their own without giving them those two pieces of information. Maybe things will be different and I'll be taken a little more seriously. Who knows?

Monday, November 14, 2011

Angel on Earth

So tonight, a couple of my roommates and I decided it was time to make a trip to the grocery store.

So we went.

And we got a ton of stuff and figured it was time to stop (we went to the store starving...)

Ashtyn was the last one to check out and before we even got to the counter she was concerned that her credit card wasn't going to work because it'd been having some weird problems lately. Anyway, she got up there and surprise surprise, her card didn't work.

After trying a couple times the guy behind her offered to just cover the bill for her. Of course she wasn't going to let that happen so she went off to try to get some cash while we waited at the register. While she was gone the young man behind us went ahead and paid for her groceries!

Afterward Ashtyn tried to get some contact info so she could eventually pay him back but he wouldn't let her give him any money so she didn't get a number or anything. He was SO dang nice about it all too! Only in Rexburg, I swear!

When we left the store, Jenny wondered where he had gone because he had left just ahead of us. "He disappeared! It's like he's an angel!" Basically, we had an awesome time at the store. Even though both Jenny and I had a HUGE headache the whole time. 

Friday, November 11, 2011


Okay everyone, I've decided that there is nothing more annoying than the awkward is-this-a-date? moment. I'm supposed to go rock climbing tonight with a guy from my trig class at the beginning of the semester BUT I have no idea if it's a date or what. I'm almost to the point of annoyance that I just don't want to go anymore. Where are the guys that will ask you point blank, "Will you go out with me on ____day? We could do this this and this at this time." I really don't like this whole, "Hey wanna go hang out?" LAME! Grow a pair guys.

On a MUCH happier note...HARRY POTTER CAME OUT TODAY! I even dreamt about buying the DVD last night. Sad I know. Seriously guys, I'm beyond happy that I am now the happy owner of Harry Potter and Deathly Hallows Part 2. :) My life of Harry Potter has been complete. Now I just need to visit the park in Orlando and Europe too.

Last of all..Where are all the happy people today?! I swear, everyone is in such a bad mood. It's 11-11-11; isn't it supposed to be a happy, lucky day? Whatever y'all. There is so much to be happy about today!! It's the weekend! :)

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Procrastination's bad. You shouldn't practice it..EVER! 

Because of it I've been reduced to this:

And this:
Ultimately this:

So not follow my example guys. Get things done early!

Monday, November 7, 2011

Power of the Priesthood

The Spirit is so amazingly strong in my apartment right now. I don't want to do anything to make this feeling go away.

All day, I've been feeling extremely sick and taking medication and trying to sleep it off and every other earthly remedy I could think of I decided that I needed to call my home teacher to get a priesthood blessing for healing and comfort. Now, I've had this ailment many times before but never as bad as today and I thought that was weird because I haven't done anything too different with my life lately but it all makes sense now.

I believe my home teachers were at class so I called upon another friend of mine, who thank Heaven was willing. He came over with another of our mutual friends and they gathered my roommates and myself in the living room of our apartment and gave a small devotional to invite the Spirit of our Heavenly Father into the room. Before they began, John reminded me that the blessing would take affect according to my faith. After asking my full name they proceeded to leave me with a very special and very touching blessing of both comfort and healing.

Cameron was the one to give me the blessing. Seriously one of the most touching blessings I have ever received and I've had more than I can count in my life. About half-way through it all hit me at once, I was going to be fine and my Heavenly Father was aware of my pain and discomfort. I could feel His love. There were times when Cameron would pause and I knew he was listening, listening for what he should say next. Those moments were the most poignant.

I am so blessed to be in a place where basically every man I meet has the ability to heal and/or comfort me in times of need. I love that I can call upon almost any of my guy friends for a blessing when I stand in need of one. BYU-I is truly the place I am meant to be at this time of my life.

I mentioned that it made sense why today hit me worse than ever before, well, one of my roommates has been struggling with thoughts that men do not love as much as women do or that they won't always be there for us. After my blessing she said that the feeling in the room totally shot her ideas about men out of the water. I know that if I hadn't been so sick today I wouldn't have called upon the priesthood holders in my life and my roommate would not have had the experience that helped her see that men really do love as much as women do. Heavenly Father really does know each and every one of His children and He works through mysterious means to bring to pass His great works.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

The Mill

Last night my roommates and I and our dates went to the Haunted Mill that's just outside of our little college town. I'm way glad that I asked a guy to go with me to this - I would've died otherwise. I'm sure the Mill was nothing new when compared with the hundreds of Haunted Houses across the country but this was my first venture into one, and it was sure memorable.
My date made the experience so fun for me and I'm sure he got a good laugh out of it as well. Because there were 7 of us in our group we had to split up (only 5 were allowed in a group), Cameron and I went on our own. As soon as we went in we were calling from the odd man out of the other group. But Cam and I had a blast going through that Mill. I'll admit, I screamed a few times when the 'spooks' ran at me (especially when Cam made me stand in front of him) or followed me.
At one point during the adventure in the dark, Cameron and I got too close to the group in front of us so one of the 'spooks' asked us to wait for a minute or two and while we were standing there with the guy all decked out in his scary gear I asked him a very important question. "How do you keep from laughing at the people you scare?" He replied, quite seriously, "'s hard." I almost laughed out loud at the way he said it but I totally understand, if I had seen me going through that Mill I would have laughed my head off.
I love being freaked out and this was a perfect experience. It was just what I was hoping for.
The group before entering the Mill.

Thursday, September 29, 2011


This week has seriously been a super rough one that has last FOREVER! I had my hair up all day and I just took it down and I looked as crazy as I felt. 

This week, I've felt like I was drowning in homework, work, and my social life. As of right now, I think I'm caught up with all of my school work and after work tonight I'm free for the conference weekend.

A major event this week that almost tipped me over the edge happened just yesterday; I'm not going to elaborate very much on this so pay attention. Remember way back when I told y'all about that person that tore me apart about a year ago? Well, I was nearly over it when I saw him randomly and every hurt feeling and insecurity came flooding back a few days ago. We talked a little bit after I had time to calm down a little bit, but I'm not sure how this happens but I always feel like that bad guy when I talk to this person. I had to literally tell myself, out loud, that I am not the bad guy, I've done nothing wrong. Thankfully, I think I'm to the point where I can just let it all go now. Every time I see this person on campus though, I still get that swooping sensation in the pit of my stomach. Like I just fell down a flight of stairs. I pray every day for more strength to forsake my bitterness and have the courage to let it all go and move on.

Thankfully, this weekend will make up for everything that has happened this week. I'm going to go see my Provo friends again! Ben, Marissa, and Greg you better be ready for this! :) And Marissa found me a ticket to the BYU game this weekend - how awesome is that?! Seriously so excited right now. Conference is also this weekend and we're going to go to Salt Lake City for it. Ahhh I havent' been in so long! This time around I will have some company on the road too, so hopefully I won't have problems with staying awake. Hurray for weekends!! 

Saturday, September 17, 2011

What a wonderful week in the neighborhood :)

One week down of college life. Here are just a few things that have made it an awesome week:

1. My roommates are INSANE! But I love each one of them. We have so much fun every day and sometimes we talk to each other through the vents. I didn't really think that I would spend so much time with my roommates but I always find myself in the living room or kitchen hanging out with them.
2. I love having my own space and room and bed and having no one to answer to. Typical freshman syndrome right? But seriously, I'm digging the independence.
3. The people I've met this week have been so much fun! In a few of my classes I've sat by some real cool guys that I can tell will become my friends very quickly.
4. Work has just been getting better and better now that I'm actually becoming friends with more of the people that I work with. Tonight a few of us are even dressing up like lions because of the release of Lion King.
5. So far my teachers are really chill and very good at what they do. I'm excited to see where my classes take me in the next few weeks.
6. Having guys over for dinner then playing apples to apples..then having a small dance party.
7. Staying up really late just to skype my boys in Provo.
8. Having my friend Cameron pick me up when I had a really horrible morning so that I didn't have to walk all the way home. It was very good Samaritan of him.

There are a ton more reasons but I'm pretty sure you'd get so bored reading them. Just know that I'm totally loving BYU-I and all of the opportunities that it affords me. I don't know how I got so lucky as to room with these amazingly vibrant young women or to meet such awesome people over the past months and week. I love you all!

We tried to get as many people as possible in this picture.

Our dinner was soo yummy.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

6 girls...and only 2 bathrooms

Alrighty, it's official. I'm living in a full apartment with 5 other girls. Don't worry, we have 2 bathrooms and 4 sinks. We're going to live. :) And we all have our own rooms. Though we all get along so well, I don't think it really matters whether or not we have to share a ton. These girls are so freakin awesome, guys!! I don't know how I got so lucky with these ladies. As of yesterday, I'd only known two of the girls that would be living with me and both were way legit but I was still a little apprehensive about the other 3. That small worry was totally unfounded because all three are angels.

I lucked out with having roommates that are all older than me; not by much mind you, but enough to know how things work here at BYU-I. They kinda know tricks and routes and everything else. And they've all got friends that they're hooking me up with - definitely a plus right? I'm so very excited to get to know all of them more and more over the course of this semester. We've already connected so well, and we've only been living with each other for a weekend! It's AWESOME!

Today was my first Sunday in my new student ward and it was spectacular! I needed to get a tithing slip from my bishop and when I asked him for one, he first asked me my name. When I replied with only my first he followed with my last! He knew who I was!! Someone really studied the list of students that would be in the ward. He's a really cool guy, I can tell already that I'm going to love having him as my bishop.

There are not too many attractive males in my ward, but there are some. I can tell I'm going to make some friends for sure though. In sacrament a guy just randomly sat by me and we kinda struck up a conversation but he reminded me of a guy I went on a date with once that totally rubbed me the wrong way and so I really doubt I'll ever be able to get past that haha.

Tomorrow is my first day of college classes....YIKES! I really hope I don't make a fool out of myself in front of too many people. I got my father's blessing (my brother-in-law helped) this evening so I'm confident that everything will work out even if I have a bad first day.  It's such a blessing to have such a gift in my life, a special message from my Father in Heaven that everything will be alright while I'm in school. That I will do well in the things I attempt, as long as I'm living the way I know I should.

Well, all you guys out there that read my little blog, please keep me in your prayers and hearts as I venture into the next great adventure of my life. College.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Here Goes Nothing!

Well, everyone, it's official! I'm a BYU-I student once and for all. I'm writing this from my new apartment, and oh man am I happy. I got my student ID card today, my books, lots and lots and lots of food, everything is all put away and oh dear, I feel so official.Seriously now, I just want to be here all the time cause of feel so cool. I'm a dork I know, but that's okay, I'm a FRESHMAN. That's how I'm supposed to be. I even sat down and started reading some of my textbooks. Yeah.

So this is my room. :) I really love it.

Today, I didn't feel well at all so I didn't really want to do anything besides unpack and make my room look nice so I didn't do any of the Get Connected activities they had going on all day. And I have to work tomorrow so I doubt I'll be able to do anything tomorrow either. Kind of a bummer I know.

I can't wait for classes to start on Monday...but at the same time I'm a little terrified. What if I just can't handle it all and I fail EVERYTHING? How horrible would that be; having to come home with reject written all over you? Ugh. At least I'll have the Lord on my side through it all. Let's just see how these next few days go. Sunday should be a good indication as to whether or not I'll be alright; it's my first with my actual ward! Ahhh so many changes and adjustments. It's going to be a crazy couple of weeks.

Here goes nothing!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Provo? Again?!

Ra, ra, ra-ra-ra, ra, ra, ra-ra-ra, ra, ra, ra-ra-ra, Gooooooooooooooo Cougars! 

Marissa and I at the womens' soccer match.

My crazy cheering partner.
Last weekend, I once again returned to Provo, UT. This time I got to experience some college sports and dang! I loved it! We went to the women's soccer match and guess what? We totally kicked some trash! That's something that kinda bums me out about BYU-I, we don't have sports. But I guess I can just visit Provo for my sports. I even had to invest in a BYU spirit shirt...which I kinda love...I have an affinity for t-shirts. I love wearing a t-shirt and yoga pants more than anything else when I'm just lounging about and now I can add one more to my collection. 

So I had a couple of experiences that, at the time kinda sucked, but looking back are pretty entertaining. and some girls from Marissa's floor got lost in the Timpanogos mountains for about 2 hours trying to find this reservoir to go swimming. When we finally got out of the forest Marissa's roommate pipes up, "Hey do you want to use my map?" Haha. Yeah, she had a map the whole time and only realized it after the fact. By the time we got out of the mountains, it was well past dark and we were all kinda burned out towards the idea of swimming. But it sure is a conversation piece and a fun memory.
Next, my car got booted. Yeah. It sucked a TON! I was kinda freaking out a lot. Cause I didn't have enough money in my account to get it off right then and we needed to go back to the dorms. We had gone to visit a friend from home at his apartment and didn't realize we needed a permit. The fact that we were there until 3 in the morning probably had something to do with it though. Luckily, Garrett (the guy we were visiting) was nice enough to pay for the boot to get removed. Now I know to always check for parking restrictions.

Tunnel singing.
At BYU they do this thing called Tunnel Singing, which is just what it sounds like, singing in a tunnel. It's an amazing experience. So very spiritual. I'm not ashamed to say that I cried a bit. Everyone should experience this...seriously!

At the Provo midnight!

To cap off our super spiritual Sunday, we decided to go to the Provo Temple. Oh man, so beautiful! Not my favorite temple of all time but still so gorgeous. Especially at night. It's all lit up and amazing. And so peaceful. We couldn't go on the grounds because it was midnight but we walked around the perimeter nonetheless.

I also displayed some bravery this trip. Which made me happy.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Endorphins make you happy :)

"Exercise gives you endorphins, endorphins make you happy. And happy people just don't kill their husbands." - Elle Woods (Legally Blond)

The above quote is one of my favorites and most repeated lines from that movie, it's so true! I just spent my entire evening working out and dang do I feel good!?

(^I can't get the stupid highlighter to turn off!^) As I said before, I've developed a love for biking; and that love has only increased as I've done it more and really gotten my route down pat. I started out my evening with a half hour bike trip around town that really worked my legs and made them feel like jelly when I finally did get off that bike.

This is what I was looking at most of the time I was riding. There must have been a fire somewhere.
About a half hour after I got home from my ride and had cooled down enough, my sister and I headed off to dance around in a gym, making complete fools of ourselves. Zumba! Oh. My. GOODNESS! Best workout of my life. Seriously, dang, I am still tired and I finished almost an hour and a half ago. It was a lot of fun just to laugh at our dancing. Doing Zumba really makes me appreciate dancers so much more, it's hard to continuously dance like that. Dang. haha.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Ward hoppin' errr Sunday

This was my third week of ward sampling and let me tell you right now, I'm loving loving LOVING it! Going to a different ward every week is way fun. Surprisingly so. It's kind of interesting because sometimes I know absolutely no one in the ward. But it's a great opportunity to meet new people, though I haven't since my first week of student wards.

Today, I went to some of my guy friends' ward. These guys are so awesome! All of them are around 5 years older than me but that's besides the point. As I was driving to church today (I was riding shotgun because ,they informed me, girls must always sit in the front) with this car full of young men I was thinking about how crazy it all was. I really enjoy feeling so safe when I'm with these guys, they treat me almost like a sister that they're watching out for...sometimes. ;) It's nice to know that if I need them they'll be there for me. If I ever need a blessing I know where to go for sure.

Student wards are truly spectacular! It's actually quiet during sacrament; there are no whispers, cries, random comments from toddlers, no laughing, no nothing, just quiet. Being able to actually focus on the Spirit is refreshing. I'm looking forward to church more and more.

On a related note, tonight as we were getting ready for family prayer my niece Eva walked over to her new baby brother and said, "Arms? O-Tay!" and she folded his tiny arms. It was adorable. And she was so proud of herself. Living with my sister and her family really lends to some very entertaining instances. Her kids too cute for their own good, her husband is incredibly generous, and I love hanging out with my amazingly witty and sharp sister.

P.S. I just looked over at my sister and her husband and they were throwing a diaper around like a ball...apparently they can't afford a ball. haha

Saturday, August 20, 2011

It's Saturday night and I just got paid!

Heck yes my friends, I just officially got paid for the first time in my whole life. I am beyond excited. Even if it isn't hundreds I'm still happy. This is money that I worked for, not just some money my parents gave me. Ah man, I love this feeling.

All week, I've been looking forward to today, and as I've been thinking about getting a little extra money, I've been thinking about what I'm going to do with it. Above all else, I want to be smart about the money I earn. I don't want to find myself totally broke during the school year and having to ask my parents for a ton of money. I just finished my budget for the end of this month and it's looking pretty good so far. At the top of that list is my tithing, 10%. As long as that's paid first I know everything will always work out just fine.

While I'm writing this I'm listening to Just Got Paid by 'NSYNC. :) Just thought you'd enjoy that little insight into my psyche.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!!

Today, my parents are celebrating their 33rd wedding anniversary! What a crazy long time to be with someone, especially in the world we live in today. Most marriages don't make it past the 10 or 15 year mark anymore. So unbelievably sad.

But anyway, my amazing parents met over three decades ago in Arizona and just a week (a WEEK!) later, my brave dad took my mom on a horse back ride up to some mountains and asked her to marry him. She replied with, "It sure took you long enough!" They'd only known each other for seven freaking days and she asked why it took him so long?! I can't even wrap my mind around that. It seems so crazy that they could make such a huge decision without very much time to really think about it. Obviously it was the right choice for them though, look at em now. 33 years. 3 kids...well 5 if you count spouses, and 5 grandkids. What a great legacy!

My favorite thing about my parents is that I've never seen them raise their voices at each other, not many people can say that. My dad is seriously the most soft-spoken man on the planet and he would do absolutely anything for my mom so they never really had anything to fight about. Mom lucked out by marrying the most least selfish person ever, I swear. And my mom is this lady that when she gives you a look you know you need to shape up, I know I got the look a lot and felt immediately chastised as I was growing up. But I don't recall being verbally berated by her. I love my parents so very much for all of the things they've taught me as I've grown up.

Mom and dad are also very faithful people, very devout LDS people and I love them for it. They helped give me the foundation I needed to become the woman I am today. Their steadfast adherence to the standards and morals we are taught every Sunday really helped me become strong enough to overcome peer pressure and endure taunts from both peers and teachers. Church was never force fed to me, my parents gave me the blocks and they encouraged me to explore the teachings of our Savior and Heavenly Father, they were obviously firm with me because I was still a child. I know that if I had woken up one Sunday and resolutely said, "I don't feel like going to church today." My mom would've just looked at me and said, "Well, that's between you and the Lord." Of course that would be enough to get me out the door. One thing that my parents instilled in me from a very young age was a love and trust in my Father in Heaven. A love and faith I still foster to this day. I don't want any of you to think that I only attended church because I wanted to please my parents, because I didn't. I truly believe the teachings of my church, the teachings of Jesus Christ, and I adore the feeling I have when I'm living the gospel and how I feel when I'm at church.

Back to my parents. I know I'm extremely lucky to have them. And I'm missing them more than I ever have before. I come home from work and my feet ache and my shoulders hurt and I wish my dad was sitting on the couch next to me so I could put my feet in his lap and get a nice massage. Now that I work at a theater I can see movies cheap and don't really have anyone that can go with me and I wish my mom was here to enjoy the perks of my job. I decided the other day that I want to marry a man similar to my dad, a man that can give really good massages. That will be a test before any guy can advance from 'boyfriend' to 'fiance'.

Well, mommy and daddy, you've done really well for the past 32 years of having kids in your home and this is the first anniversary that you don't, so PLEASE go out and paint the town red. You've earned it for dealing with us kids for so long. Now you're free to learn how to underwater basket weave, salsa dance, or go frolfing (frisbee golfing). LOVE YOU!

Friday, August 12, 2011

Just an update :)

I discovered this song last night("Gravity" by Sara Bareilles) and instantly fell in love with it. The melody and piano really struck me as so beautiful and I wanted nothing more than to be able to play it and sing along as well. So I found the sheet music online and went up to campus to practice. I've been listening to it a lot so that I can really put the way it's supposed to sound down in my head (for some reason, I have to know exactly how it should sound before I can play it).

When I finally sat down at that piano with my sheets spread out and placed my hands on the keys, the world kind of fell away. Everything that has been weighing on my mind seemed to just seep away as I poured my whole attention into this piece. Playing the piano is such a freeing passion. When I'm playing piano, I feel like nothing can touch me. I'm filled with this irrational happiness. Of course I've got a LONG way to go before I'm an amazing pianist, but that's okay with me, as long as I love what I'm doing, I'm just fine. Being without a piano at the ready after having been in the same house as one for 18 years is so foreign and at times, I want to play so badly that it consumes my thoughts until I find myself at a piano on campus. It really goes to show that we should never take the little things or granted in our lives.

This is the song. :) Enjoy it as much as I did!

Kay, so on another note, I've decided to begin a work-out regime in my life. I haven't really exercised a whole bunch since cheer ended waaay back in January and it's beginning to show. I'm not okay with that, and it's something that I have quite a bit of control over. So a few days ago I went for a run...BAD idea. I've never been a good runner. And as a result, I say that I don't like it. I guess that's partly true. I do like running, I like being able to think and I like the feeling of getting away from things. Anyway, last night I decided to bike instead. I. Am. In. Love! Biking is my new favorite form of exercise! Being able to go fast and to feel the strength in your legs is so awesome. I'm going to try to go every day that I don't have to work.

 "It's not sweat, it's my fat cells crying." I love that quote and I thought you would like it too. :)

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Return to Provo

I spent another amazing weekend in Provo; it was just as awesome as the last time I was there. Sadly it seemed to go by even faster than the last. Not sure why exactly because we didn't keep nearly as busy. But that's just fine with me, it was a great break from reality. It's wonderful to spend time with people who really know me and that I can totally be myself around. I've missed seeing familiar faces in the blur of making new friends of the past few weeks.
Because Ben had a crazy schedule for dance over the weekend Marissa and I got in some really good quality girl time! We did what girls do; talked about boys, went to the mall, painted our nails, and laughed more than we normally would if we weren't together. I totally love that girl. We weren't the closest of friends in high school but we're sure getting closer and closer now. She probably knows quite a few of my secrets by now. I wish she was closer just so we could facebook stalk people together or whatnot.

We spent our Saturday almost entirely at Ben's dance competition, in which he did amazing! I love watching people dance who actually know what they're doing and Ben's definitely one of those people. I wish I had been exposed to dance when I was younger, heaven knows what I would give to be graceful and fluid with my motions.
Ben and I before he went out to dance.

Every time I hang out with these people we have to go swimming; I think it's like some unspoken rule or something. But we decided to go at around 11 at night. Before I jumped in (I was first haha) I didn't really think the water would be as chilly as it was, but it all turned out just fine. Spending a few minutes in the hot tub really made you want to get back in the cooler water of the pool. And it's always fun to hang out with Washingtonians, cause this time we took along another friend from home Tanner.

Marissa and I after swimming. We were pretty cold at this point.

Ben and I in front, Marissa and Tanner in back. I love these people!

Marissa and I went to a birthday party on Sunday that turned out to be quite entertaining. I made the comment that it was my first ever college party and the thought crossed my mind, "This is nothing like what a 'normal' person would consider a party in college." There were only a few of us, no booze, no dirty dancing or horrible music or filthy jokes. And it was fun all the same! It just goes to show that you can have just as much fun sober and you'll remember it the next day.
The birthday boy, Alex, playing our makeshift game of Pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey.

Alex and Daniel making a pinata out of an old "Ding-Dong's" box.
Sunday night was spent going on an adventure with Benjamin. We ended up talking till we got kicked out of the dorm lobby so we went for a walk. On the way, I got a quick little lesson on snowboarding. I can't wait to sometime hit the slopes and really test myself. Eventually we found ourselves jumping the fence to some practice fields (I walked away with a few battle wounds from that) and got to see some really cool shooting stars. I get really excited when I see shooting stars. They fascinate me to no end. It really makes me feel so small, almost insignificant in the grand scheme of things, even though I know I'm not in the eyes of my Maker. I could sit and stare at the stars for hours if I'm allowed to, they're one of my favorite natural spectacles. It floors me that their light travels soo many miles just to put me in awe.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Whoa, what a week!

This week has been so freakin amazing for me! I haven't been this busy since the week before I left Washington. Every day has been filled with some kind of fun with my new Rexburg friends or my sister's family. Last Sunday, I took a significant step of faith on my part and went to a student ward my sister found for me, on my own. In my last post, I related my nervousness and whatnot. Well, I'm so glad I took that step and did something a little scary.

It really goes to show that it's totally worth it to step out of that comfort zone in which we seem to always put ourselves. We limit ourselves so much with unfounded fear of rejection or failure when in the long-run, how important will it really be? In ten years, 15 years, will we care if we made a fool of ourselves in front of someone we were trying to impress? Nah. We probably won't even care that we did poorly on a test one time in class. And why should we? We have so many more important things to think about, more important things to dwell on and develop.

Anyway, I've really gotten to know some new people over the course of this chimerical week. I feel pretty lucky because this time last week I was pretty lonely and not sure if I should really be here in Rexburg or what. But now, I'm having too much fun to want to leave. A few weeks ago I started panicking about my choice to attend BYU-I over BYU in Provo because I never really pondered the choice or prayed about it or anything. I just went ahead and made the decision. But I think I got my answer and I think I kind of knew it all along. I have some real good friends going to BYU right now and in the fall, and I can totally see myself just hanging out with those people and not really expounding upon other friendships. Here, I don't really know anyone so everywhere I go, I'll be trying to make friends. Although I love my friends over in Provo, I know that in this time of my life I need to strike out on my own and really test the social waters. Rexburg is where I'm meant to be.

Funny part of all this, my new friends range in age from 21 to 24. Needless to say, I feel very young when I think about the age gap. Luckily for me they don't often call attention to the fact that I'm, at most, 5 years their junior. At first it really made me nervous to hang out with them but now I couldn't mind less. Each has made me feel included and even wanted for the fun. They're an awesome bunch of young adults that really know how to have fun. And I'm just lucky that I get to tag along!

To top off my really awesome week; I GOT A JOB!! My first job ever and it's at a theater. Basically I've died and gone to heaven. I'm so very excited to start, it's not even funny. Check back in about a month and that may have changed but I sure hope not. When that small little paycheck starts coming in that's when the party really starts. Just kidding. 

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Hope's Journey

I just finished a new book that I picked up at Deseret Book the other day; Hope's Journey by Stephanie Worlton. Hope's Journey is about this young woman who made poor choices with her boyfriend during her senior year of high school and ended up pregnant. Both the young woman, Sydney and her boyfriend, Alex, were active LDS kids with so much going for them... The moment they find out that Sydney is pregnant, the two separate for most of the pregnancy and we get to experience each of their struggles individually.

As I went through everything with the characters, I started to feel a little chastised. I've always kind of looked down upon pregnant teens. It's horrible and evil of me to do but the society that we live in has put such a horrible stigma on these young women and young men that have lost their way. I'm in NO way condoning sex outside of marriage. Nothing good can come from indulging in those desires before you have made that special and sacred promise with the man or woman you are going to spend the rest of eternity with and your Father in Heaven. It's like playing with fire, it doesn't matter how careful you think you're being, you are still mocking the special power you've been given by Heavenly Father to bring life into this world. Even if you don't get pregnant, emotions will be altered. Forever.

Of course, I'm not saying that if you have fallen and made this mistake that you're a horrible, trashy person. No. You are still a beloved son or daughter of God. He loves you beyond all words can express. He knows how you are feeling and what you're going through. He will never forsake you, no matter how unworthy you feel of His attention or love. You can really find forgiveness for anything, but it won't be easy. The best things in life take time and patience and a little effort.

Anyway, this novel made me feel for the characters. They were truly repentant for their actions and knew what they had done was wrong. I found myself feeling sorry for the young woman as she dealt with the judgement of other women and families in her home ward. They had no idea the things that she was going through or the things she had done to gain forgiveness. It made me reflect on myself; I don't know the circumstances, thoughts, feelings, or steps that have been taken towards repentance. There is so much going on behind the scenes. So much hidden from the world. Who am I to judge them when I am not perfect?

Monday, July 25, 2011

Baby Steps

So my mom just left me in Idaho with my kinda feels weird but hasn't completely hit me yet. I don't feel like I'm on my own yet. It'll probably hit me like a bag of bricks in a few days. Till then I'm just gunna enjoy a little more independence.

A few years ago I looked forward to this time when I would be done with high school, living in a different state and getting ready to start college...but now that I'm here? I'm not so sure I'm ready. I don't feel old enough to be rubbing shoulders with these kids here. They all seem so much more educated and mature than I. Every day, I'm reminded by some small thing or other that I have so much more to learn and experience. Am I really ready to start this next chapter of my life? There are times when I feel like that answer is a firm NO but then again I know that I must do this. I need to stretch out of my comfort zone and try new things. Fail a few times and pick myself back up again, without the help of my parents or people I've known for years.

Yesterday, I took my first tentative step away from all things familiar and went to church on campus in a student ward for all the kids that are staying behind for the summer. My friend was going to meet me there but her ward didn't get over till about half-way through the service, so I was on my own until then. When I found myself freaking out about going Saturday night, I kept saying to myself "What do you have to worry about really? You're just going to sit and listen to people talk. You get to hear some really good messages that will really help you out. Just go and sit. There really is no downside." So I went. And I was my FIRST ever student ward! When all those heads swiveled to look at me enter the room, it was too late to back out. But I did end up making a new friend in Sunday School. A young man took pity on me and asked if the seat next to me was free and we got to know each other a bit. It was refreshing to have a real conversation with someone closer to my age. Being constantly surrounded by children can be draining.

Tonight is Monday night and that means Family Home Evening (or FHE for short)...and that means that there is an activity. Tonight though they're just doing a kind of dinner thing and probably some 'ice breaker' games. The bishop said he wanted to get to know us all, seeing that we're going to be going to church together for about 6 weeks.

Wow, I only have 6 more weeks till I move into my apartment!? WHAT?!!!?? I'm soooo excited. It's going to be amazing to finally have a bigger room. Haha. And to meet my roommates. Just hope none of them are crazy....

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Pros and Cons

Have you ever had one of those decisions that you just need to make but both choices have such awesome qualities? What's the best way to make up your mind in this case? I have come to really love pro/con lists in just the past few weeks. Even though these lists are really helpful they have made my brain hurt; simply trying to think of enough things to go in both columns is so difficult!

A good friend of mine and I were just talking about our plans for the future (living arrangements, money and where to live for college breaks) and my first suggestion for her was a pro/con list! It's kind of a running joke between the two of us because of the other reasons I make pro/con lists. She makes fun of me because they're usually really stupid things to make lists abouts (boys, clothes, things-I-want-to-buy.) But I still think that it's a very effective way to map out the good and bad things about a choice. For some reason, seeing the qualities written down in black and white (or color) just makes everything so much more final and clear.

Now that my life is really starting to take off and I'm finding myself standing on my own two feet a little more; it's becoming more and more important for me to make my own choices. With that power I need to make choices that will benefit me in the long-run. I don't want to give up what I want most for something that I want in the moment, you know? I tend to over analyze every outcome and agonize over the choice for a few days or weeks or months, depending on the choice. It's not good, making lists makes things so much easier.

If you've never made a real pro/con list; I encourage you to try. It's a little bit of a relief to see the good and the bad, black and white, no gray or middle ground.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Pre-College Experiences

Last weekend, I travelled to Provo to visit some friends from home who are already attending BYU there and goodness did we have fun!? I'd have to say yes we did. We filled every day with so many sweet experiences and made so many great memories that are unique to this period of time in our lives. I laughed so much last weekend, a much needed work out for my tummy!

My friends showed me "Rape Hill." So named because of this sign and the fact that a young woman was once raped here... 

NEVER again will I hike all the way to the top of the Y on the side of the small mountain in Provo while I'm out of shape! Definitely the hardest hike I've ever been on, though going at 1:30 in the morning really helped; it wasn't nearly as hot at that time.

We hiked to the top of that Y.
Marissa and I hiking. Oh and Ben's finger too.

But after the hike we drove to Krispy Kreames to Dumpster dive for some discarded donuts (They were sealed and perfect just in case you were wondering). Oh yeah, it was now 3 in the morning.

Tanner, Alex, and Marissa getting the booty. :)

Dancing has always been one of my absolute FAVORITE pass times. I with more than anything that my mom had forced me into dance when I was little, cause it's almost painful to watch myself dance (like in old cheer stuff). But anyway, I got to go to my first college dance while I was over in Provo and had a blast. My buddy that also took me to Prom escorted me to this dance as well, so we had another really fun night dancing the night away!

Haha, I love how Ben is the only boy in this picture. These girls were so awesome!!
So basically I'm loving being an almost college student that can basically do whatever she wants. It was so much fun to just go out every night and do something new and exciting. I'm not nieve enough to think that's how it will always be but it's nice to have a break from reality every once in awhile. Healthy even. Even though I'm spending the majority of my summer in Rexburg, it's nice to know that I'm only 4 hours away from some people who will welcome me back whenever I need them. I can't wait to finally start meeting new people here in Rexburg and to start school in September.

Monday, July 18, 2011

How many months has it been?!?

I am so horrible! It's been months since I've written and  there have been some pretty big events in those couple months. 1st, I turned 18 back in May. Something I never really looked forward to or anything even though everyone else looks forward to it for years and years. Now I'm an official adult, whatever that means. It's not like I can do anything special now that I've reached 18....I don't have any new freedoms or responsibilities. Basically, I do the same things I did when I was 17. Being LDS, I don't smoke or gamble so it wasn't like I wanted to go out immediately and buy a pack of cigarettes or a scratch tickets. But enough about that mundane topic. Let's move on shall we?
Prom. Was. AWESOME! For so many months before the dance I was not looking forward to it at all because I didn't think I'd even end up going with a date cause no one was talking about it to me or dropping hints that maybe they would take a chance and ask. I remember hating hearing people talk about their plans for prom and whatnot. But then I reconnected with an old friend and thought, "What've I got to lose by asking him if he'd take pity on me?" Possible shunning. So I took a chance and asked if he'd like to go and you guessed it, he said yes! And how wonderful that was; our personalities meshed really well as shown in our pictures. I've never gone on a date or to a dance with someone who loves taking pictures as much as I do. And as a result we took a lot of pictures. Another plus was that he was an awesome dancer so that was really fun; especially seeing the jealousy on the other girls faces when he'd spin me around or dip me. Yeah that's right ladies, SUCK IT! Just kidding. But seriously, soo much fun. Wouldn't mind doing it again sometime. Haha

Next on the list...GRADUATION!! It's official, I'm a high school and seminary graduate and a very happy one at that. It didn't seem real at all walking out across the stage to get my fake diploma. It still doesn't seem real, I keep thinking that I'm going to have to go home soon and go back to GK for some more schooling. I don't think it will really hit me until September when I'm checking into my apartment at BYU-I. Even then it'll seem weird and not right. I'm not old enough to be out of high school and out fending for myself in the world. I'm lying here in my friends bed typing this thinking that I'm so not ready to be on my own. I still need my mommy and my daddy to guide me through everything. I didn't even know where to find batteries at Walmart the other day, if that doesn't scream "Not ready for life." I don't know what does. But then again, I know that I have to do this on my own. I know that I need to get out and experience failure and success without holding the hand of a parent. When I'm not thinking about how much I don't know yet, I'm not too worried about being so far away from everything with which I've become familiar. I'm pretty excited actually. Mostly I just really want to meet new people and have new experiences that I would not have had at home. I always thought I would know so much by the time I graduated from high school (and seminary) but...I really don't know very much. There is so much more out there that I need to learn and see. And what better place to do it than at a church sponsored school. I can't wait to start and end every class with a prayer to invite the Spirit into the room. How much easier will it be to pay attention and glean something new from the lesson if the Spirit of my Heavenly Father is present and willing to help me as long as I put the work in as well?

My sister had another baby a few days ago; a very healthy baby boy named Dax. I've never been lucky enough to be around brand new babies and I loved this opportunity. Being able to hold this precious little guy was so special. He had come from the presence of my Heavenly Father and Jesus only hours before I was holding him. This tiny little spirit, so new to this world, still knew Heaven and angels. He still knew for a surety of their existence. Or at least I believe newborns can. I believe that babies and infants can see the spirit world, or Heaven, all around us when they're young. I believe they can see angels. Looking down at Dax really started the old cogs going in my brain, and filled me with questions I would love to ask him but I know I wouldn't get an answer. What was in like in Heaven? Did you speak with the Savior much? What did you do while you waited to come to us? Have you been watching our family for long? At the same time I'm a little sad because he did have to leave that perfect place to come here, a very imperfect place full of sorrow, pain, heartache, wickedness, and sin. Although it's necessary for his progression, I still feel for the little guy. I look at him and want to protect him from ever knowing the bad parts of life but I know he must. For if he doesn't know the sorrow, how will he know the joy? The must be opposition in all things.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day

This post is completely dedicated to my mother, sister and sister-in-law. Seeing as today is mother's day I MUST write about these amazing women in my life. The women that have influenced me the most as I've grown up and who still influence me everyday. I love spending time with each of them and consider them some of my closest friends.

Over the past few years, my mom and I have become much closer. Next year is going to be rough without her and I know she's not excited for me to leave as well. She has always been there for me when I need her. In the middle of the night she comes to me when I call out. Whenever I have a bad day she'll take me away and help me forget about my worries. Countless days have been devoted to hanging out with my mom, seeing movies, driving around or walking the mall. Not to mention watching our favorite tv shows. My mom has always been someone that I know I can talk to whenever I feel like there isn't anyone else for me to talk to. I love the relationship that I have with my mother; it's not something that many other girls my age have with their mothers. I'm lucky. Although my mom is one of my best friends she is not my friend first; she's my mom. And that's as it should be. I never want that to change.

My sister and sister-in-law are amazing women as well. I've watched them over the past five years as they've raised their children and they are such an example to me. Jenn and Sarah have so much love in their hearts for not just these little angels but for everyone else as well. I hope to be just like them some day. I'm one lucky girl to have sisters older than me that I can aspire to be like one day. We always have so much fun when we all get together and stay up late talking or playing games. They are talented and thoughtful women, amazing mothers and wives. Basically they rock!

“Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels."

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Small and Simple Things

"Is our journey sometimes impeded when we forget the importance of small things? Do we realize that small events and choices determine the direction of our lives just as small helms determine the direction of great ships?"

The past few days have really had me down but life took a swing for the awesome today. As I was passing a random church on the side of the road today I noticed a little sign that said something to the effect of "when God wants to bring great things to pass he doesn't do it in great ways." It brought the phrase "By small and simple things are great things brought to pass.

Elder M. Russel Ballard said it perfectly in the quote with which I started this post. I think I have been forsaking the small things in my life, the small choices and happenings. I've been waiting for this big event that would suddenly make everything go away and get better. When all along I should have been reveling in the little things, the little blessings. Things I wouldn't otherwise think too much about. In life, I think we, as humans, tend to forget the importance of the small joys in life. We spend our money to watch movies, read books, or see plays in order to see these big dramatic scenes from (mostly) fictional and impossible lives. How easy is it for us to look at those things and want that excitement and adventure? I know I escape this world I live frequently for the world of make-believe.

Life is kind of like a needle point creation. When you first start out on it all you can see are random strands of string that make very little sense. But once it's finished, every single string has a purpose and a reason for existence. Without some of them the picture wouldn't be the same. The same can be said about life; our path is dictated by the flippant choices (and difficult decisions) that we make every day. It makes sense when they say in the Harry Potter books that it's nearly impossible to see the future because it's so easily altered by the small choices.

So I'm going to leave it at that. Short and simple.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Thoughts on Dating

I was asked a question today about dating and whether or not I would date some one that is not of my faith and I don't feel like I really answered the question how I would've liked because I was interrupted. So I'm going to take advantage of this blog and explain my dating standards and those that are taught by my church as well.

I'll start with the standards that are taught by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. And I'm going to start with a quote by the Prophet Gordon B. Hinckley that I love!

“The Lord has made us attractive one to another for
a great purpose. But this very attraction becomes as
a powder keg unless it is kept under control. . . . It is for this
reason that the Church counsels against early dating”
(President Gordon B. Hinckley).

Dating is taught to be an important part of life because it's a way to find qualities that you would like to see in the person you want to be with forever. We're also counseled not to begin dating until we are at least 16 years old because it will limit the number of people you will meet and keep you from experiences that will mold you into more mature person. Group dating has always been suggested as a place to start as well as not sticking to the same person for multiple dates. Basically the LDS church teaches its youth to go on dates with a variety of people in order to experience a multitude of different personalities and traits and find out things that you do and do not like in people. We're also counselled to date people that share the same standards as ourselves for obvious reasons.

Now for my standards:

They're basically the mirror image of the churches with a few quirks for myself. I try to date people that are LDS but there are not very many in my area so I go out with young men who hold the same standards as myself and who will help me keep my own. This is not to say that I want a non-LDS boyfriend. My biggest goal in life is to get married in the temple and I can't do that with someone that is not a worthy member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and the people that you date seriously are most likely the kind of people you will marry later on in life. I also try to make it a point never to be 100% alone with a guy, like in a house or something. There are too many things that could happen. People may ask, but don't you trust yourself? I would like to think I do, but can you ever truly trust yourself when your emotions are unpredictable or strong? All I have to say about it is that I'd much rather be safe than worried or sorry. Done. Ever.

There are many people in the world and I want to meet a bunch of them. It's extremely hard to do that if you're worried about a boyfriend or girlfriend. I'm not saying that you should never ever have a boy/girl friend. I'm just saying that there is a time and a place for it. And I don't believe its the high school years. Those years should be spent meeting many different people and getting to know them. Not being spent with the same person every weekend. That can lead to too many bad things. Too many strong emotions for people so young. There is so much time. Just wait. The world is a big place and the people you meet in high school are the smallest fraction of those people. Most likely you won't even see the person sitting next to you in class every day ever again. That's just how I feel. 

Sunday, April 24, 2011

He is Risen!

He is Risen! Seeing as it is Easter, it's only appropriate of me to devote this post to my Savior, Jesus Christ.
I know that my Redeemer lives and that He loves me infinitely more than I will ever know or understand. Often, I'm asked why it is that LDS people don't wear crosses or have them in our churches and it's a pretty simple answer, we choose to dwell on the life and ministry of Christ, rather than His crucifixion. Awhile back I heard an analogy that has stuck with me, if my brother was shot I wouldn't wear a symbol of his death and the same can be applied to my Brother, Jesus Christ, I love Him and though His death is very important to the plan of happiness it's not something that I want to dwell on.

Something unique to my faith is our focus on the teaching and life of the Savior. Much of our time is spent studying the life of Jesus, learning from His divine example and love. Our focus is on becoming like Him. Doing good in everything we do.
 This isn't to say that I do not believe in the importance of the sacrifice my Savior made for me, because I do. I know that through the Atonement I am able to return to Him and my Heavenly Father again after I have departed this life. I know that He will be waiting for me with open arms on the other side of the veil. I love my Brother Jesus Christ and all that He has endured for ME, He knows exactly how I feel when things fall apart, when my hair just won't do what it's supposed to, when I fail that test, when I get rejected by a boy, when I have no one else to turn to. He has felt every single human emotion out there and has felt every hurt and experienced every possible outcome to a situation. He suffered for me specifically in the Garden of Gethsemene, He bled at every pore for ME and for everyone else on this earth. He loves us He knows each of us by name and He knows our thoughts and intents. He is always there for us and always will be.

Easter has become a very commercialized holiday and the real meaning behind the celebration has almost been lost. It isn't supposed to be about a giant bunny that brings goodies to children, nor is it about getting new dresses or toys, it is a celebration of the resurection of Jesus Christ. Why have so many people forgotten? How sad is it that many children today think of a rabbit instead of the Savior on Easter Sunday? All I know is that today is a celebration of my Brother, Redeemer, Savior, Jesus Christ. He has risen and lives today!

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Get it Right

What have I done? I wish I could run
Away from this ship goin' under
Just tryin' to help, hurt everyone
Now I feel the weight of the world is
On my shoulders
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
So I throw up my fist
I will punch in the air
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair
Yeah, I'll send out a wish
Yeah, I'll send up a prayer
And finally, someone will see
How much I care!
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
This is so my theme song right now. It's almost like I wrote this song. Everything I'm feeling right now is reflected back in musical form. I feel like I try and try and try to do what is right and what is expected of me only to have it thrown back in my face either by people I don't know or people I thought were my friends.

I try to spare people's feelings as much as I can even when I'm being attacked but sometimes I can't hold it in anymore. I normally just take what is thrown at me because I don't want the person throwing it to feel bad. And yet here I am sitting in bed at noon sobbing. I so wish that I could just run away and never come back. I wish I could erase people from my life forever. I can't wait to be done with high school. I can't wait to get out of here.

Apparently my good isn't good enough yet. And my best intentions have sure made messes. Everything I touch just seems to crumble. Life isn't fair and I know this but sometimes I wish something would work out. Everything is just falling apart.