What I stand for

As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I get some ridicule. But mostly I just get lots of questions. So I thought I would just put some of them to rest and set the record straight as to what I believe and what moral standard I live my life by. :) So here goes.

I was born into a LDS family and I love it. Although my extended family are not all members it's still pretty awesome. Many people think that just because I was born into the religion that I don't really think for myself and that I'm forced to go and that I only go because it's all I've ever known. That's only partially true. True I don't know anything else. But I love it. I know it to be true, for myself. I have found out for myself that the church is true. I don't rely on my parents belief in the church. I want to stay active. I want to be apart of my Savior's church. I want to live my life in accordance with the teachings of the church.

Many people think Mormon and say, "Oh so how many moms do you have?" or "You must have a BUNCH of siblings!" Ugh. Come on people. Mormons DO NOT practice polygamy. That was a part of our church in the very early days of it. The early saints moved west in order to escape the intense religious persecution that they were receiving in the East and many men went to fight for the United States when they were asked. So there were women in the West who lost their husbands in the fighting. They were alone in this new and uncharted place, often with children. They had no way to support themselves. Some men were asked to take on another wife in order to support her and take care of her. This lasted a very short time. It wasn't like every man was suddenly able to get with as many women as he wanted. Anyway, if a member of the church tried to marry more than one woman today, he'd get excommunicated. In other words, he would no longer be a member of the church.
And the sibling thing...not everyone has a bunch of siblings within the church. The only reason many members have multiple children is because family is such a huge part of our church. But it's not so normal as it was before to have large families. I only have 2 siblings, for example. Though both are married with 2 kids each. Haha. But seriously, family is really important to members of the church. We're counseled to build a strong family through things like family home evening (often on Monday nights), family meals, family scripture study and prayer. And just have fun together.

A lot of my friends know that I don't like it when people curse around me. I've been counseled throughout my life to keep my language clean because offensive words will drive away the Spirit or Holy Ghost; it will make my Heavenly Father uncomfortable. I have done just that. It's not easy when you have to go to school everyday with teenagers who can't say one sentence without a swear word. I'm lucky to have great non-member friends who respect me enough to work at not swearing around me. In 9th grade I met a guy who had a mouth like a sailor but we became friends in our math class and he came to know that I didn't like hearing certain words. He was wonderful at keeping his language clean around me. There were times when he would slip up but he'd look sheepishly at me and apologize. I didn't see him again until my junior year in chemistry class. He remembered where I stood and he remembered what he had to do. Over this past weekend I went out with a bunch of my guy friends and he was there. He must have sworn because another one of my guy friends said, "Hey don't swear around Bri." And he replied, "Oh I know, she's Mormon. I had her in 9th grade." Another guy heard this exchange and when he said something he knew he shouldn't he would immediately change what he had said and say sorry. I love that.

Dating is a huge one for me. There have been times when I'm walking down the hall with a guy and when they leave my other friends will start asking if we're "talking" (that would be code for being close to being a couple, yeah it's weird haha). I always laugh and say no. I don't want a boyfriend. When I say that to someone their eyes always get big and they say "Oh! Why not? You guys would make a cute couple!" I simply say that I enjoy being friends with everyone and I don't want that kind of pressure in my life. Especially right now. I don't want to feel guilty if I talk to another guy. I don't want to feel like I have to worry about someone else all the time. At this time of my life I know that I just need to learn and have a variety of friends in my life. In the For the Strength of the Youth pamphlet that my church produces there is a section on dating and it counsels the youth of the church to avoid singling off and steady dating. I totally agree with that. So many of my friends have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I always feel like I can't go hang out with or talk to guys that have girlfriends because I don't want to make their girlfriend mad at me or something like that. And I know that when guys think I'm taken they don't approach me. I don't want that to happen. I want to talk to everyone. I want to be able to go hang out with everyone. I don't want to limit myself to one person.

Earlier I mentioned the Spirit. In my church we believe in Heavenly Father, His Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost as three separate beings. The Spirit is kind of hard to explain. It's a person but also a feeling. Some people refer to him as your conscious. When I feel the Spirit I feel comfort, peace, joy, happiness. Basically every good feeling out there. I love having that feeling in my life. I don't feel those things when I watch an inappropriate movie, listen to offensive music or hang out with the wrong crowd. I try to always do what I'm supposed to do because I love how I feel when I have the Spirit. He will not stay with me if I'm not living as my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ would want me to live.

I love my religion. I don't know what kind of person I would be without it. I don't know how I would act or what I would want from life. All I know is that I wouldn't want to live without it. I know that what I'm being taught and what I have been taught is and did come from my Heavenly Father. I know that I'm His daughter and that He loves me. I know that He has counted all the tears I've shed and that He will be speaking to some guys because of them. :) Seriously now, I know that my Savior died for me and through Him I can return to Heaven. I know that the Book of Mormon is another testament of Christ and that the word written within are true. I know that Joseph Smith could not have simply fabricated that book. I know that he really was called of God to reorganize Jesus Christ's church on the earth again. I know that there is a prophet on the earth today and his name is Thomas S. Monson. I know that if I live the standards that I've been counseled to live by I will be just fine. I know that everything will work out. I know the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is true. Simple as that.

Lions, Tigers, and Politicians; Oh my!

Well, it's that time again. Elections. Oh goodness. I can't wait for them to be over. I swear I've seen thousands of commercials for the candidates and I gotta tell you, I just get more and more ticked off. They say that the public doesn't care about the ads that the candidates explain their own views rather than attack the other but I gotta tell you, right now I'd rather have the former. The attacks that these people are launching at each other are so....unprofessional. It makes me feel like I'm watching a couple of children fight. It's annoying.

I wish it was possible to do away with party classifications, which I know will never happen. The way I see it, so many Americans are hung up on what party someone is affiliated with. People hear such and such is a Republican, a Democrat, or an Independent and they immediately form a bias. If instead, we actually just went off of what someone stood by rather than their party, I think that the people of America would be better off. In my government class we've watched some documentaries about different elections and there are people who are yelling and screaming at each other. The party divisions are so horrible. Why can't people just hold their own opinions yet still be understanding and mature about hearing other peoples' opinions? I know it's hard to set aside your pride and listen but it can be done. I hold very different beliefs and values than many of the other students that go to my school and the other people in this world but I try to treat people as I would want to be treated. No one wants to be yelled at. No one wants to be hated. Yeah, it's hard and no one is perfect but everyone can try to be kind and peaceful when they talk to people who hold different values close.

Politicians are people just like you and me. They have families and lives. They have problems. They're not perfect. They make mistakes (sometimes big, sometimes small). They're human. I may not like what some of them are doing with the power they have been given but I don't want to hate them. It's hard to hate a person when you realize you've never met them, you don't know all the circumstances of a discision or you finally realize that they're human too. For example, when President Obama does something that I feel was really stupid for our country I try to think about what the Bush daughters wrote to the Obama girls that really makes the President seem normal, " He is not a sketch on a paper or part of a skit on TV. Many people will think they know him, but they have no idea what he felt when you were born, the pride he felt on your first day of school, or how much you both love being his daughters. So here is our most important piece of advice: Remember who your dad is." That to me, makes me think of how I would feel if someone I'd never met (thousands of someones) was attacking my dad on a daily basis. I know I wouldn't be okay with that. Would you?

Recount

I walked into my AP Government class today expecting to have a great class period. My friend Kyessa was back from a trip she went on and we had a sub. Basically the formula for a perfect period. The sub lets us talk for a little bit, the normal "How ya doing? Oh I'm good...blah blah blah" business goes on. But the moment the words "You're going to watch a movie today." Comes out of her mouth I'm immediately on edge. I've come to realize that movies in school are no longer safe to just assume are clean. Which is sad. I knew that most likely I would be walking out of the class.

So we began this movie called 'Recount'. I thought it was going to be a documentary but then I saw Kevin Spacey so I knew it was a movie movie so I wanted to see the movie cover to find out the rating. A friend of mine looked up the ratin on his iPod and found out it was not rated because it was a made for HBO movie. (That right there should've warned me). So I kinda sat there thinking alright. Let's see. STUPID! Ugh. I should've left earlier. Anyway, there was this one character who obviously loved the F word and he used it as much as he can. Now I know that the Motion Picture Association of America has deemed that any movie with 2 or more uses of the F word is to be rated R. I wasn't going to sit and listen to that garbage.

I stood up right there and walked over to the sub and asked her if I could leave and she told me that I couldn't leave till someone else came back. I then told her that I wasn't going to sit there and wait for the other kid to come back because I thought that movie was offensive. She let me go. I would never let a teacher try to make me stay in a class through a movie like that. They have no authority to make me watch a movie that I believe to be offensive; I'd just leave.

I'll bet you that many of the people in that class thought that I was stupid to get offended and leave the class. They probably thought, "Oh wow, she's dumb. Can't even take a little swearing. She's such a goody-goody." And if they think that then I guess I don't want them in my life either. My real friends would respect my beliefs and feelings. So hopefully I have some.

I've always thought that cursing is not an effective way to communicate. In my opinion, it shows a lack of knowledge, a lack of education. I think that you can get your point across just fine without resorting to swearing. It's not hard to refrain from using those words. I do it. I've made the choice to not swear. I would love if no one in the world cursed but I'm not stupid. All I ask is that people respect me enough to try to not curse around me. That's it. No one is with me 24/7 so is it really that much to ask? And I don't expect perfection in this either, I know people make mistakes but at least apologize perhaps? Please guys. Just keep it clean around me. :)

I'm Only Me When I'm With You

I'm listening to "I'm Only Me When I'm With You" by Taylor Swift and dang, I'm hooked. And you can listen to it too if you scroll to the bottom of the page and look in my playlist. :) I know it's more geared towards friends and loves but I like to think of it as more family oriented. I'm sure I have people in my life who think they know me. Who think they know what I think about this or that but I don't think there are many people who really know who I am. Except my family. I'm an unpredictable person.

I can only think of one person who has been in my life for almost as long as I've been alive and he's pretty good at knowing me. He moved in across the street from me when I was about 6 or 7 and we basically grew up together. Ah there were so many times when I'd come running to my mom crying about something we'd fought over. Haha, never phased him. As we grew up, we did kind of start to grow apart. Seeing each other less and less. His family just moved a few weeks ago and I'm terrified that I will not have him in my life anymore. He's like a little brother to me. He'd like to think that he's the big sibling here simply because he dwarfs me but no, I'm older. :)
Anyway, it sucks to not have him across the street anymore. I don't feel as safe as I did because I knew that if I heard some freaky noise down the hall I could call him and he'd come kill whatever was in the house. Haha. We had some great times growing up. Lots of memories there.

Anyway, other than Jeremy and maybe a few others plus family. I don't think many people know the real me. I knew a guy once who talked to me for months only to end up tearing me to shreds, saying things about me that didn't reflect who I am or what standard I live my life by. Needless to say, I felt beaten by that experience. But I look at it now and realize it's not my fault. If he had actually known who I was he would've realized what he was saying was so false.

My family is amazing. My mom is one of my best friends. She's crazy and quirky just like me. We love going to movies as often as possible. We love to sing glee music. I'm totally me when I'm with her. And the rest of my family too. They bring out both the best and worst in me. But I guess that's what happens when you're family. What's the saying? We're meanest to the people we love the most? Yeah, that's the wrong word. But you know what I mean. I would definately not be the person I am today without my family. I love them all so much.

My life is like a roller coaster and that's what makes it fun. It would suck if my life was always one speed and one altitude. I love the craziness of my life. I love the ups and the downs (as crazy as that sounds). I catch myself sometimes, wishing that my life would just be exciting and adventurous but when some drama comes into my life that would make for an awesome teen movie I just want things to go back to normal. How lame is that? I gotta just be happy with what is happening. Easier said than done.

My Sister...

My sister is 11 years older than me so you can imagine what it was like to grow up with a sibling so much older than me. I can understand now why she didn't really want me around all the time even though I didn't at the time. But I always knew my sister loved me to death.

My Jenn always loved to read, I remember walking out of my room and hearing the hum of her voice behind her closed door animating the words from some novel she was reading. I would often peak into the room to see her laying on her back, feet up on the heater with a book raised above her face. I always loved seeing her read although I'm not sure why. The picture of it has stayed with me this long so it must have meant something to me. This love of reading was passed to me when I was going into 3rd grade. I don't know if she knows or not but I attribute my love of reading to her almost solely. You see, my sister would read Harry Potter to me. She would read chapter after chapter. Now you have to understand, Harry Potter chapters are LONG and my sister was just finishing her senior year of high school at this time so she obviously had much better or cooler things she could have been doing. But no, she would sit downstairs with me and read for hours. I never wanted her to quit.

Later that year, my big sister took me to my first (and only, so far) concert. NSYNC. She had hooked me on them too when I was really little. I remember watching documentaries that our cousin had taped for us with her. But I was so excited to go. You have no idea how excited I was. I think we have a picture of me sitting on her lap just hugging the living daylights out of her.

As the years have gone by my friendship with my sister has grown stronger and stronger. When she left for college I hated it. I wanted her to come home so much. When she got married to this hunky guy from Idaho (who, by the way, is like 20 feet taller than her), I was happy for her and excited but I was sad at the same time because that was it. She was no longer going to come live with me anymore. She was growing up too. She was starting her own life. But then she started to have babies. :) It was amazing. Although, we sometimes fight still. A few summers ago she tried to set me up on a date when I came to visit her and I didn't want to. I was so headstrong and stupid. A year after that I was in contact with the very person she wanted to set me up with and we had become friends. Haha, she is a smart cookie.

This past summer holds some of my favorite memories of me and my sister. We're at that point now that we're really good friends and we can talk about anything. I spent about a month with her and her family. I had a blast. She would wake me up in the morning singing "Rise and Shine and sing out your glory, glory!" at the very top of her lungs. She would get me to work out with her (yeah, she's talented). She taught me how to quilt and was patient enough to get me through it. She would do my makeup (She's a GENIUS!) and hair. She helped me find really cute clothes. We had so much fun together. Laughing at Audrina and her boyfriend on the Hills. Making obscure Friends references. Staying up real late then wakin up real early.

Jenn really is the best sister a teen like me could have. I know that she's always there when I need her and I take advantage of that. She's everything that I want to be when I grow up. An amazing wife and mother. I've never met someone like her. She's a spiritual giant (which is saying a lot because she's barely over 5 feet.) and an amazing guide to her children. She's changed over the years but you know what? She's still my sister and her changes are not bad. Words just can't really describe her. Or do her justice. I'm so lucky to have her. I wish she lived closer so that we could be together more but I guess the saying is true, time (and distance) make the heart grow fonder. :)

I love this woman. :)

Take a step

Today is kind of a surreal and somber day for the students that go to my high school. It's also an eye-opening one. Sadly we lost one of our school's population to teasing and hurtful words. What has the world come to when we're loosing so many of our youth and population in general to such a simply changed thing? Why can't people look beyond themselves and reach out? I'll admit I'm still working on that myself. I have my good days and my bad days. But I'm ashamed to say that I have been a jerk to people in my past and I regret it. There are times when you just can't take it anymore and you snap on someone; you know what I'm talking about, you've been there too. It's hard to take a step back from what's happening to you and think about what someone else may be feeling or going through in their life at that moment.

I was thinking this morning about ways that I could work on how I treat other people in my life. Mainly the ones that just get under my skin. Those people who just grate on your patience, you know? I was thinking about how everyone is a child of God and I took it literally. What if, when someone says something to me or does something to me that I deem to be ridiculous or rude, I thought of them as a child. A innocent little toddler perhaps. How much harder would it be to snap on them? How much easier would it be to treat them with kindness? I'm not saying that we should think of them as children in order to feel superior to them or anything of that nature.

On facebook there is an event coming up called Erase the Hate. I encourage everyone out there to join the cause and get out there and erase the hate. Do you know how much could actually get done in this world if we didn't hate? Do you know how amazing life would be? Do you know how happy we would all be? We may not agree with choices made by others but we should not hate them or whatever just because they make a choice we don't like. It's not our place to judge those people around us. Let's all put away our gavels huh?

Take a step...right now...take a step towards understanding. Towards love and peace. Have some faith and reach out. Smile to those people you pass in the street, store, hall. Say a kind word to someone. Stand up for someone. Be a hero. It's not difficult once you start. It just takes that one step to start running. Everyone has to start somewhere. Being a hero gets easier with every heroic act you commit. You can do it.

I'm starting now. I swear to do my best to brighten people's days. There is a scripture in the Book of Mormon that perfectly sums up what must be done. It can be found in the book of Mosiah, "are willing to bear one another's burden, that they may be light; Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort..."

College and Glee

Oh the joys of moving up in the world....application after application. For college, jobs, scholarships, ect. Who doesn't love filling out endless amounts of paperwork? I know I do (please note the sarcasm). But I do love the feeling that I'm really growing up, I'm becoming self-sufficient albeit in a very small way. Haha. But I'm excited for what these applications might lead to...COLLEGE! People say that the best years of your life are high school but I'm not so sure. I know I've had an amazing past 3 almost 4 years though I think that college will be even better. I'm truly hoping that people are a little more mature than what they are now in high school. The best part is that my sister (one of my absolute best friends in the whole world) lives in the town where I want to go to college. I can't wait to be able to see her whenever I want to. And probably babysit for her. I can't believe I just said that...since when do I babysit? But I would do it for her. Her kids are so cute. So are my brother's. Dang I've got cute nieces and a handsome little nephew.

If you can't tell, I'm in a really great mood today. Music seems to have that affect on me. Right now I'm listening to Don't Go Breakin My Heart as performed by Finn and Rachel from Glee. Yes, I am a Gleek..though I'm not sure how much longer I will be able to watch it. The last episode was a little....risque. Anyway, the Glee songs are amazing, sometimes even better than the original in my opinion. Listening to Glee music can always make me feel a little gleeful. Yeah that was cheesy but whatever. So these two pictures you see right here are the reason I love the show so much. Well besides the music. On the left is Mr.Shue. Yeah, I wish everyone had a teacher as dedicated and awesome as him. The facts that he's gorgeous and has an amazing voice don't hurt matters. ;) On the right are Finn and Rachel. I've been rooting for this couple all along. Rachel is kinda crazy and Finn is one of the mellowest guys out there but when they're together it's perfect. They have an amazing chemistry. And they're so cute. I always smile when they sing together or at each other. Everyone else? Eh, they're okay. But these three are definitely the best. Hands down.

Wow, now I have no idea what to title this post. I started out with college and applications and segwayed very sharply into Glee. Oh my, I'm such a random person. But I guess that makes me who I am right? No one is normal or that sort of thing for everyone can't be the same. And who has the right to judge normal anyway? Wow, there I go again switching gears. Have a great night everyone. :)

You Are Special

I was walking past my parents room a few minutes ago and I noticed a book on their bed. I love books so I stopped to investigate. It was a copy of the childrens story You Are Special by Max Lucado. I love this little book. I've heard it many times and the message always hits home for me and I can't wait to have children so I can read it to them too. Everyone in the world should read this little book, or so I think. :)

The story is about this little wooden creature called a Wemmick by the name of Punchinello (yes, the names are one of the reasons why I love the book). Anyway, these little beings live in this village by a hill. On the hill lives the woodworker named Eli, remember that. Every one of the Wemmicks are different in both appearance and ability.

Every day these little wooden men and women go out and stick stickers on each other. They all have star and grey dot stickers. When the Wemmicks see a particularly pretty or talented Wemmick they put a star sticker on them. But when the Wemmicks see another Wemmick with chipped paint, oddly proportioned body parts or who lack skills that they deam impressive they stick a grey dot on them. Well, our little Punchinello isn't handsome or talented so he's covered in grey dots. He becomes so disheartened that he doesn't even want to leave his home for fear of getting more dots stuck to him.

One day he meets this unique Wemmick who has no stars or grey dots anywhere on her person. Punchinello is astonished to find that even when other little wooden people try to put stickers on her they just fall off. Curious, he asks her why this happens to her. She tells him to go talk to the woodworker on the hill and he would find out. Of course, Punchinello has never met the woodworker so naturally he doesn't know if he should go talk to him, what if he doesn't want to see Punchinello? Eventually he decides to climb the hill to talk to the woodworker.

Eli, the woodworker, greets Punchinello like a long lost son. He explains to Punchinello that it doesn't matter what the other Wemmicks think, it only matters what he thinks about Punchinello. Well what does he think you may ask? I'm not even going to summarize this part cause I think it's the most touching part of the whole book. Okay, I might summarize a little bit. Haha. But anyway this is it.

"What they think doesn't matter, Punchinello. All that matters is what I think. And I think you are pretty special."

"Me, special? Why? I can't walk fast. I can't jump. My paint is peeling. Why do I matter to you?"

"Because you're mine. That's why you matter to me."

...

"Remember you are special because I made you. And I don't make mistakes."

Basically the whole point of this story is that it doesn't matter what the world thinks about us. It doesn't matter if your hair doesn't fall just the right way or that you've got a pimple on your face or that you just can't make that shoot or that you never seem to know the right answer in your chemistry class, the only thing that matters is that you are the son or daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves you very much. He doesn't make mistakes, you are everything in His eyes. You may not think He listens to you or that He cares but he does. He knows what you go through and He feels saddness and pain when you do too. He is there for us, we've simply to reach out to him. Once we start to see ourselves as he sees us then we will begin to care less and less about what the world says or thinks. Sure things will still be hard but they'll become just that much more bearable.

Just remember..... You. Are. Special.

I just don't understand

There are a few things that have me scratching my head at the moment.....ONE: why people (teens) are so disrespectful to people who are simply trying to help them. TWO: why people don't think about the consequences of their actions. THREE: how in the world I'm going to finish everything I need to finish.

One... I've been in school for a while now and I've been on a few different sports teams. I think it's safe to say that I have a pretty firm grasp on what it's like to have a good teacher or coach. I've had some really great teachers/coaches...and I've had some not so good ones. Sometimes you get that one instructor that is pretty tough on ya, really trying to get the best performance and results out of you, that one person that really knows how to push you. At first glance they may seem kinda harsh or scary but if you take a step back and think, "hey this is a person just like me who has problems and a life outside of this room or gym or whatever. I'm not perfect so I can't expect them to be," then it becomes so much easier to understand where the person is coming from when they are telling you to do something. Normally when a teacher or coach is stern with you they know something that you don't know, for example a chemistry teacher may be stern with you about the burners you are using because he knows that if you don't do things exactly how he instructs you may get hurt.
As teenagers we like to think that we know everything and when we're corrected or reprimanded we immediately think "Oh this teacher/coach sucks at what they do." That is SO WRONG! People that react that way totally bug me. A great student knows that they need to be humble in order to truly become great. The only way to get better at anything is to listen to people who are devoting their personal time to helping you. They don't have to help you, no one is making them show up everyday to teach you or coach you; they could quit. No one knows everything, especially teenagers, even if you have been doing something for years and years. Yeah you might know a lot of stuff but you know what? Does it really hurt you to be humble and try new things when requested by those people who are giving up their time to instruct you? Nope. And in the long run, adopting the attitude of 'I'm so much better than what this person is making me do. They don't know what they're talking about...blah, blah, blah,' you're only hurting yourself because you can't improve on anything.

TWO....why don't people think about what will happen if they make a choice? A long time ago I heard this little thing about consequences of your actions. Imagine there is a stick lying on the ground and you pick it up. Well, by picking up one end of this stick you also have to pick up the other end. There's no getting around it. So basically when you make a choice (pick up the stick) you're also agreeing to recieve the consequences (the other end of the stick) whether they be good or bad. You can't choose the consequences of your actions, that's impossible because no one can predict the future. Although it's really great to live by the phrase Carpe Diem it's also wise to think through what you're deciding to do. Think about how it might turn out if you decide to pass on some information that you're not completly sure is accurate to people in your class. Think about what might happen if you decide to smile at that stranger in the hall who always seems a little sad. Please everyone just think!

THREE.... oh my goodness! There is soo much that needs to be done! So little time! I have about a month to get my Personal Progress done (a program that my church does for the women and girls, it's really really cool) so that I can get my medallion. I need to fine tune my piano solo for Young Women in Excellence (another church program :). I've got to figure out how to apply to BYU...soon. I'll get that one alright. I need to apply to get some scholarships cause I really want some money for college. I want to be crazy good at all the classes I'm taking this year and I want to pass all my AP tests in the spring so I need to start now. Whooo, you tired yet? I am. I need to get my leg feeling better so I can work on jumping again. I need to deep clean my room. I need to pick out my senior picture for the yearbook by friday. Oh my...Come on girl! You can do this. Haha.


Well, that's my rant for today. I hope everyone has had a great day today. It's real nice outside, go enjoy the sun on your face. Not much more of that will we get. :)

About a year ago...

About a year ago, I started a blog that was about how I live my life with standards that are pretty different. Life became kinda busy for me and I slowly forgot to write and eventually I just deleted the whole thing. This time, I'm going to try a little harder to keep it up.

About a year ago my life was pretty different than what it is now. If someone had approached me and said that I would be where I am now then I would've laughed at them. Last year, I was pretty settled into my life; I kept to myself a lot, pretty quiet, reading a lot, hanging out with really only one person. It was a pretty good life and I was happy. But today, I try to be around many different people and personalities, I'm a cheerleader at my high school (something I've NEVER done before, that's a story for another time), I'm more outgoing and confident. I'm not saying that my old life was crap or that my new life is peachy keen. It's not. I have problems and worries. Life is messy and unpredictable but you know what? It's so worth it. Really.

About a year ago, I thought I could handle anything that life threw at me and that I had everything figured out. I've really grow over this past year. I've realized that I can't handle everything life throws at me. And I don't need to. I can have a break down, I can freak out. I've just realized that it's not about the "freak out" it's about how I bounce back. It's about how I handle what I'm given. Last year, I thought I had everything on my horizon totally mapped out but nothing I thought I would have going a year from then is not actually happening now. Now, I don't like to call things, not even the outcome of a game. Maybe I'm afraid of disappointment, probably. But I like to think it's because I've realized I can't predict anything. And...I don't want to. Where's the fun in knowing exactly how things will turn out?

So here I go again. This is my senior year of high school. My last year before I begin "real life." Enjoy. :)