Monday, October 11, 2010

About a year ago...

About a year ago, I started a blog that was about how I live my life with standards that are pretty different. Life became kinda busy for me and I slowly forgot to write and eventually I just deleted the whole thing. This time, I'm going to try a little harder to keep it up.

About a year ago my life was pretty different than what it is now. If someone had approached me and said that I would be where I am now then I would've laughed at them. Last year, I was pretty settled into my life; I kept to myself a lot, pretty quiet, reading a lot, hanging out with really only one person. It was a pretty good life and I was happy. But today, I try to be around many different people and personalities, I'm a cheerleader at my high school (something I've NEVER done before, that's a story for another time), I'm more outgoing and confident. I'm not saying that my old life was crap or that my new life is peachy keen. It's not. I have problems and worries. Life is messy and unpredictable but you know what? It's so worth it. Really.

About a year ago, I thought I could handle anything that life threw at me and that I had everything figured out. I've really grow over this past year. I've realized that I can't handle everything life throws at me. And I don't need to. I can have a break down, I can freak out. I've just realized that it's not about the "freak out" it's about how I bounce back. It's about how I handle what I'm given. Last year, I thought I had everything on my horizon totally mapped out but nothing I thought I would have going a year from then is not actually happening now. Now, I don't like to call things, not even the outcome of a game. Maybe I'm afraid of disappointment, probably. But I like to think it's because I've realized I can't predict anything. And...I don't want to. Where's the fun in knowing exactly how things will turn out?

So here I go again. This is my senior year of high school. My last year before I begin "real life." Enjoy. :)

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