Sunday, October 24, 2010

I'm Only Me When I'm With You

I'm listening to "I'm Only Me When I'm With You" by Taylor Swift and dang, I'm hooked. And you can listen to it too if you scroll to the bottom of the page and look in my playlist. :) I know it's more geared towards friends and loves but I like to think of it as more family oriented. I'm sure I have people in my life who think they know me. Who think they know what I think about this or that but I don't think there are many people who really know who I am. Except my family. I'm an unpredictable person.

I can only think of one person who has been in my life for almost as long as I've been alive and he's pretty good at knowing me. He moved in across the street from me when I was about 6 or 7 and we basically grew up together. Ah there were so many times when I'd come running to my mom crying about something we'd fought over. Haha, never phased him. As we grew up, we did kind of start to grow apart. Seeing each other less and less. His family just moved a few weeks ago and I'm terrified that I will not have him in my life anymore. He's like a little brother to me. He'd like to think that he's the big sibling here simply because he dwarfs me but no, I'm older. :)
Anyway, it sucks to not have him across the street anymore. I don't feel as safe as I did because I knew that if I heard some freaky noise down the hall I could call him and he'd come kill whatever was in the house. Haha. We had some great times growing up. Lots of memories there.

Anyway, other than Jeremy and maybe a few others plus family. I don't think many people know the real me. I knew a guy once who talked to me for months only to end up tearing me to shreds, saying things about me that didn't reflect who I am or what standard I live my life by. Needless to say, I felt beaten by that experience. But I look at it now and realize it's not my fault. If he had actually known who I was he would've realized what he was saying was so false.

My family is amazing. My mom is one of my best friends. She's crazy and quirky just like me. We love going to movies as often as possible. We love to sing glee music. I'm totally me when I'm with her. And the rest of my family too. They bring out both the best and worst in me. But I guess that's what happens when you're family. What's the saying? We're meanest to the people we love the most? Yeah, that's the wrong word. But you know what I mean. I would definately not be the person I am today without my family. I love them all so much.

My life is like a roller coaster and that's what makes it fun. It would suck if my life was always one speed and one altitude. I love the craziness of my life. I love the ups and the downs (as crazy as that sounds). I catch myself sometimes, wishing that my life would just be exciting and adventurous but when some drama comes into my life that would make for an awesome teen movie I just want things to go back to normal. How lame is that? I gotta just be happy with what is happening. Easier said than done.

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