He is Risen! Seeing as it is Easter, it's only appropriate of me to devote this post to my Savior, Jesus Christ.
I know that my Redeemer lives and that He loves me infinitely more than I will ever know or understand. Often, I'm asked why it is that LDS people don't wear crosses or have them in our churches and it's a pretty simple answer, we choose to dwell on the life and ministry of Christ, rather than His crucifixion. Awhile back I heard an analogy that has stuck with me, if my brother was shot I wouldn't wear a symbol of his death and the same can be applied to my Brother, Jesus Christ, I love Him and though His death is very important to the plan of happiness it's not something that I want to dwell on.
Something unique to my faith is our focus on the teaching and life of the Savior. Much of our time is spent studying the life of Jesus, learning from His divine example and love. Our focus is on becoming like Him. Doing good in everything we do.
This isn't to say that I do not believe in the importance of the sacrifice my Savior made for me, because I do. I know that through the Atonement I am able to return to Him and my Heavenly Father again after I have departed this life. I know that He will be waiting for me with open arms on the other side of the veil. I love my Brother Jesus Christ and all that He has endured for ME, He knows exactly how I feel when things fall apart, when my hair just won't do what it's supposed to, when I fail that test, when I get rejected by a boy, when I have no one else to turn to. He has felt every single human emotion out there and has felt every hurt and experienced every possible outcome to a situation. He suffered for me specifically in the Garden of Gethsemene, He bled at every pore for ME and for everyone else on this earth. He loves us one...by...one. He knows each of us by name and He knows our thoughts and intents. He is always there for us and always will be.
Easter has become a very commercialized holiday and the real meaning behind the celebration has almost been lost. It isn't supposed to be about a giant bunny that brings goodies to children, nor is it about getting new dresses or toys, it is a celebration of the resurection of Jesus Christ. Why have so many people forgotten? How sad is it that many children today think of a rabbit instead of the Savior on Easter Sunday? All I know is that today is a celebration of my Brother, Redeemer, Savior, Jesus Christ. He has risen and lives today!
What have I done? I wish I could run
Away from this ship goin' under
Just tryin' to help, hurt everyone
Now I feel the weight of the world is
On my shoulders
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
So I throw up my fist
I will punch in the air
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair
Yeah, I'll send out a wish
Yeah, I'll send up a prayer
And finally, someone will see
How much I care!
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
This is so my theme song right now. It's almost like I wrote this song. Everything I'm feeling right now is reflected back in musical form. I feel like I try and try and try to do what is right and what is expected of me only to have it thrown back in my face either by people I don't know or people I thought were my friends.
I try to spare people's feelings as much as I can even when I'm being attacked but sometimes I can't hold it in anymore. I normally just take what is thrown at me because I don't want the person throwing it to feel bad. And yet here I am sitting in bed at noon sobbing. I so wish that I could just run away and never come back. I wish I could erase people from my life forever. I can't wait to be done with high school. I can't wait to get out of here.
Apparently my good isn't good enough yet. And my best intentions have sure made messes. Everything I touch just seems to crumble. Life isn't fair and I know this but sometimes I wish something would work out. Everything is just falling apart.
While I was doing a little spring cleaning today, I found something that I had written in Jr.High. Something that I wish I'd found a little sooner. I thought I'd share it with you now:
Never let anything slip through your fingers. Remember what it feels like to look back and regret not doing what you wanted. Life is short, it does not leave room for regrets and what-ifs. Open your eyes to all life offers. Don't dwell on what might have happened. Dwell instead on the happy moments. Make memories, keep them, cherish them, love them. Be a little kinder, smile more, love more. Don't be afraid to show who you really are. Don't care about what others will say. Don't pass up an opportunity on something you want. Life life to the fullest, have more fun. Carpe Diem. Seize the day.
I have spent so much of my time looking back at instances that offered me a choice between something scary and something comfortable and easy. Sadly, I've chosen the easy and comfortable route too many times. I've looked back and thought, "What if? What if I'd just taken a chance?" It will never be easy to take that step and put yourself out there, maybe do something so totally out of your comfort zone that you become utterly vulnerable and unprotected. For that minute or second you toter on the edge. We fail to see that there is a net beneath our every jump, a net of friends, of family that will always welcome us back with open arms. I've chosen to step back from the ledge only to find myself wishing that I had stepped forward instead. There is nothing like that rush of wind and sensation of falling.
Things always turn out so differently in our heads. Many times I play out events even before they happen in my head and when faced with the actual event I chicken out and take the easy road. It would be naive of me to say that I wouldn't do that ever again because it's not something changed over night. But I am going to try to be spontaneous and do something I otherwise would be too afraid to do. I'm going to seize the day!
Last week, in seminary, we watched Joseph Smith: Prophet of the Restoration. I've seen it before, a long time ago in Salt Lake City. It plays at the Legacy Theater every day. I remembered it being an awesome movie so I was pretty excited to see it again. And I wasn't disappointed at all. I just found out today that a new version of the movie is on YouTube now. Between the morning and afternoon sessions of General Conference my family and I watched the movie again. The Spirit in the room was unmistakable. I wish I could sit all of my friends down one by one and watch that movie with them. But that's not possible and I know it.
Knowing the truth and loving every little bit of it is kind of like having this huge cake that is the most delicious thing you've ever tasted in your whole life and wanting to share it with everyone around you. I desperatly want to share the teachings of my church with everyone in my life. I want everyone to be as happy as I am when I think about my Father in Heaven and His Son, Jesus Christ. So many people in the world have no idea where they came from, where they're going, or what they're supposed to do here on earth. But I do. It's comforting to know that I will be able to return to the presence of my Heavenly Father again someday and that my family will be with me as well. We are an eternal family as long as we live righteously. I love that knowledge. I know that I am a daughter of God, I'm an heir to His kingdom. Nothing beats that. :)
I wish I could take all of my friends to church with me. I hope to soon.
Below is a link to Joseph Smith: Prophet of the Restoration. Please watch it.
